I'm searching for something...

I'm searching for something... // -->

Monday, November 29

Guessed all of you having fun now eh? haha... today is a boring nite la. all of you not around. and i'm tired too. haha okie la i should treasure my time to sleep well lately. My heart haven't been at peace lately. Dunno why eh.

Is something gonna happen?

All along, You were beside me
Even when I could'nt tell
Through the years, You showed me more of You, more of You

Heli Dont ask me why 11:00 PM

Having a bit of headache now. lols. Dunno is cos laugh too much, listen too many songs, or too tired or what.. haha.. Not bad la today quite happy. =)

Haha.. it's like a night i just feel like "haha-ing" all the way. Lols.

Edna and Dash are my favourite characters in the INCREDIBLES. haha.. so funny both of them.

Lols okie la nothing much to say. Just.. happy. =)

Heli Dont ask me why 1:59 AM

Friday, November 26

No point me keep giving out,
when no one's pouring in.
I gets tired. I'm the one who's drained out.
I don't like to be taken for granted.
But this is what i feel so.
I've no idea what to say
But i know i want to run away.
Please don't... do this to me. Don't make me do what i don't like.
I'm really getting tired of this game i'm playing. Don't make me forget..
You all leave me with no choice at time.
Leaving me the only player...

..with no 'Joker'.

Heli Dont ask me why 10:00 PM

Wo Hui Lai Le

Heh. yeah i'm back. woo i looked so burnt and it hurts!

heh neh mind. I'm off to sleep!

Heli Dont ask me why 1:32 PM

Tuesday, November 23

Please pray for me!

Pray that i won't capsize.
Pray that my cadets will all make it.
Pray that it won't rain next few days.
Pray that i will not fall sick.
Pray that i will be alright.
Pray that everything will go smoothly.
Really pray hard i can make it. *bad feeling*

That's all. 3 days and i'll be back. Yupx.

Don't know why i went to camp for more than 10 times i guess, yet i still feel the "homesick" feeling before i go camp. Sighs. Can't overcome this.. failure? Start way back when i was p5 i cried when my dad and mum came to the campfire and i knew i couldn't go home with them. Yeah i'm feeling not well. not good. yeah. nvm.

Take good care peeps. And.. good night. =)

Heli Dont ask me why 10:08 PM

Monday, November 22

Finally completed FF8. Lols. Took quite a long time to complete it.. Stupid yuting don't think i don't know you must be thinking i so slow rite.. is cos my com down when i played till disc 3 already and then needa restart ya know? ya know the siansation instead of sensation when playing?? Har yeah so this morning completed. So surprised i fought the final battle just once and that's it. Woo hoo. =)

After the game, just make me feel that i wanna live a life like them, but.. haha i know it's impossible. Think the part squall and rinoa in space and the last part most touching. Hehe.. Nice game.

*Lol and finally can return belle guidebook and CD le. =P

Heli Dont ask me why 1:56 PM

Sunday, November 21

I think i don't wanna be a star or whatever anymore..
I don't wanna be regarded as someone else anymore..
I don't feel like being a special someone..
I think i just want to be left aside..
I know no one will come by..
I have no reason why..

I just don't like being pushed aside. Just let things be. Just turn off the lights.

just let me drive my own car..
let me drown in a world of my own..
let me get into an accident.
and just let me go.

and just let me cry...

Heli Dont ask me why 2:19 AM

Saturday, November 20

Wo Bu Xi Huan.

I think i've lost my way out.
I feel out of place.
I feel old.

I don't need and don't want to know myself.
The cry is starting again.

Damn why cant i just learn.
why am i so stupid.

[>.<]

Ni Zou Kai.

Heli Dont ask me why 1:29 AM

Wednesday, November 17

I think i rather hurt myself then let others hurt me.

It's good to have friends i can trust in and adults i can rely on. But one day they will go and leave me empty. I don't want to feel that way.

Heli Dont ask me why 1:09 AM

Tuesday, November 16

Don't know since when i don't like music. I used to always like to find one isolated seat in the bus, and then just stuffed the ear piece into my world and ya, please-dun-disturb-me that kind of attitude all the way home. Nowadays, hmm i don't really like music. just need silence.

Hate to think of the future years without him around anymore.
Hate to think that we know the truth yet we can't do anything.
Hate to see him each time with tears almost coming out.
Hate to be such an idiot.
Hate to be such a weakling.

I hate myself.

[>.<]

Heli Dont ask me why 1:24 AM

Monday, November 15

Don't know why i came online for what. Don't want to blog these few days cos entry end up will be v deep thots and tend towards not happy de so i dun want to write.

Still don't know why i want come here.

*grunchy face*

Heli Dont ask me why 1:49 AM

Thursday, November 11

once again the song brought me hope, joy and a smile.

hm.. but in the midst of all these, i find a little tear in my heart. It just refuses to go away.

"... you'll catch me whenever i fall ..."

Heli Dont ask me why 2:26 AM

Tuesday, November 9

Good Nite.

You know, we seldom say good nite to our parents, whom in fact we always do when we were young. Then, the only times we say good nite are probably when we signed out from msn to our friends. I don't know, but i guess a good nite to my Dad would be very valuable, now.

I even remembered when i was young, i used to give my Dad a kiss before he goes to work every morning, till when i was about 7 or 8. And he always comes into the bedroom to check on me if i'm sleeping. If i'm not, he would ask for a good nite from me. But, lols most of the time, i faked that i was already asleep. That was when i grew older.

Now that we've all grown, such kind of conversations don't exist anymore i guess. I felt bad each time i sounded rude, or unkind. But, i don't know how to hide away such unwanted side of me when i can do so to others. Or maybe i shoudn't hide it, rather i should face it?

I played FF8 again, and i felt that this is really true for me:

(It's good to have friends we can trust in and adults we can rely on.)

Forgot how the later part goes... but it's somehow like this...

(... but they won't stay there forever.)

Yeah, they won't stay there forever.

And that's why, you're seeing the me. The i.

Heli Dont ask me why 2:40 AM

said too much today. haha.. but it was alright.

well, blog this so as to let ppl know that... well, i'm back. haha... =)

a simple life, simple thots, simple dreams, and a simple you.

Heli Dont ask me why 2:26 AM

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